Life can be the worst thing that's happened to me, but there are some people who definitely make it worth living.

My boyfriend's older brother graduated from college today and naturally I was invited by his parents to the celebration dinner. I asked both my parents if I could go and they said okay. Dinner started at around 8:30PM. There were around 30-40 people -- it was more of a family reunion, really. I got introduced to a lot of aunts, uncles, cousins and other relatives. Since there were a lot of people you can't really expect a gathering like that to end quickly. We actually finished around 10PM (the food was delicious). My parents texted me that it was getting late already and asked me to head home if there was a chance. I said I would try, so at around 10:15 PM we headed home.

Unfortunately, some electric post along Commonwealth fell down and was being replaced so there was a huge traffic jam. My dad kept texting me, "Where are you, your mom's panicking already." Blah blah blah. When I got home my mother started screaming at me saying, "WHAT TRAFFIC JAM? At this time of night? You're lying!" and "It's 11PM! You're late! Pamilya mo ba sila??" What the fuck? What's wrong with her? I just kept silent and when I went downstairs again I started crying and ranted to my uncle. I've never felt this bad in my life. I'm fucking turning 19 in a couple of months and they still treat me like a baby.

Pamilya ko ba sila? I seriously wanted to tell my mom that yeah, they ARE my family. They're the closest I can ever get to the real thing. My family isn't really a family at all. Yeah, I guess they're family in terms of money and technicality but that's it. Haha. I can't wait to leave this house.

Yeah, I'm an evil, evil girl and I'm posting this from work. Work is as good as I expected. There isn't much workload (yet) so I have little to do. I can work at home but I go out because it's better working in an airconditioned place rather than a place where sweltering heat pervades your every thought. My officemates are awesome. Most of them are boys, but from experience I get along with boys anyway, so that's no problem. They're all so creative and so good with Photoshop. The only thing I can be proud of in this place is my programming know-how. Haha. I'm the not-so-creative-yet-logical girl around here.

Perhaps the best thing I like about work is that I can come in anytime I want. Yesterday I went in at 1PM. Today I went in at 10:30AM. I was supposed to be here around 9AM but traffic was horrible. Nobody cares, as long as you get your work done. And I forgot to mention the iMacs too. Pretty, shiny things. Drool.

Kael taught me to play DoTA over the phone last night. Uhm. My neck is still aching, but yey I know how to play DoTA now. XD

I am seriously not the mushy type, but:

I haven't felt this depressed in a month or so, and I seem to have forgotten the feeling. I was so used to it back then. You really do get attached to happiness, huh. The book Who Moved My Cheese? by this doctor (I forgot the name) helped me a lot to realize that getting too attached to your Cheese won't lead you anywhere and that you always have to be open to change. But I don't know. I want my Cheese and it's scary to look for new Cheese but there's no other choice. :(

Miki and I fought on Thursday. We fought on Friday night, too. My eyes are pretty much swollen from all the crying I've done. We're okay now, and we talked about what happened and what we can do to keep it from happening, but somehow I just can't stop thinking how we're on the track to breaking up and that if I continue being stubborn I'm going to lose him. I hate how pessimistic I've become. I hate how sedentary I've become when it comes to dealing with problems.

So today I'm going over to his house to have fun, blah, blah. I'll be bringing a lot of E-Aji and Samba. Because food is love. Wahaha. And maybe the PS2 controller, too. My parents only know I'm going out to spend time with friends. My mom and I actually almost fought again because she was putting her nose into my affairs again. I mean, she told me just YESTERDAY that I could go out every Saturday on the condition that they know where I'm going. So yeah, I made plans this Saturday and when I told her I was going out she was like, "WHAT? Where? Why?" I told her, "To meet my friends. Haven't seen them for a while." And she went ballistic and said things like can't you live without your friends, blah blah.

I walked out on her. I mean, seriously. I know when I'm listening to bullshit and I can't stand listening to bullshit. As I walked out I was saying, "Maybe that's why you don't have friends, you don't know anything about having friends." She's used to me so she doesn't really take that seriously anymore.

I'm a bad daughter, I know. I should be more understanding or whatever of my mom, but shouldn't she be understanding too? She keeps accusing me of doing things behind her back when I don't, and when I tell her that I don't, she never believes me. I've given up on her. I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to leave this house which I never considered a home to begin with.

What do people usually say when making a first post in their journals? Usually it's "Hi, this is my first post!" or "I finally signed up for LJ." What should I write for my not-so-first post? This used to be my Livejournal way back in 2002, I rediscovered it just today. I read through all the entries and boy, was I immature. I ended up deleting everything. (I backed them up and put them in a... Safe place.)

Reading my old entries reminded me of the times when my problems were just so superficial. Back then I would cry over not doing so good on a quiz or for getting scolded by my parents. Nowadays I would bawl over lost loves, not being happy, losing friends, that sort of thing. The serious stuff. I'm not saying having superficial problems is wrong, it's just that... If I were able to talk to my old self I'd probably hit her on the head and tell her to grow up.

I have yet to realize that the world does not revolve around me.